Sunday, June 27, 2010

Dear Spiders

Dear Spiders,

On saturday, I rode my bike down the road. When I was going about 16 miles an hour, I felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and found a black one of your kind crawling up my arm. I screamed and frantically tried to get it off. All the while, I was cruising down the road in what might be considered slow for a car, but it's very fast when you have a bike and no cushions to keep you from hitting the ground hard.

My coworkers love it when you get on my desk at work. It is the highlight of their week when that happens because they love it when I scream and try to find something to kill you.

Anyways, why must you torment me? Get one someone else's bike. Or in someone else's shower or house.

When I was young, as opposed to now, when I'm not as young, Christine was showering and a large spider landed on her in the shower. She freaked out and ran out of the bathroom and down the hall naked in an attempt to get it off of her. She was screaming loudly.

She probably would've crashed the bike. So why don't you just go live in her shower?


PS. The other day I woke up with a bite on my chest, please stay out of my bed too

1 comment:

  1. I probably wouldn't have crashed. I'm getting used to spiders. I have to kill spiders all of the time now.
    My ants can come live with you. :)