Sunday, June 13, 2010

Dear Future Spouse

Dear Future Spouse,

I have no idea who you are, but I do have a few requests.

1. Do not bring celery into my house. It tastes disgusting and I don't want it to taint the rest of my food.

2. Please do not pee in the shower or the sink. I read some article online and it said when guys are too lazy to use the toilet they just pee in the shower or the sink. Thats nasty. I hope that isn't really true and that I shouldn't read random articles anymore.

3. If you see a tag on my new pair of shoes as I wander around church, please tell me before half the relief society notices it.

4. If I somehow ruin your (insert one of the following: shirt, pants, shoes, blender, mixer, car, lawnmower, weed eater, bike, couch, electronic item) know that it was an accident. I can't help it if I'm clumsy.

5. I like kids. If you don't, you better learn to.

6. I don't like to vacuum. And yet somehow I ruin them on a regular basis. Although the Dyson is still alive after about a year.

7. Spiders are not our friends. They must die. One somehow bit my chest the other day. I woke up with a big old bite there and wasn't thrilled to realize where the spider must've been in order to bite there.

8. Ants and wasps are also not in the good category and it is worth paying someone to rid my house of them.

9. You really must watch The Gods Must Be Crazy 2. It is one of the funniest shows ever.

10. I do not like MLM's or anything like unto it. I don't buy knives, candles, scrapbooks, jewelry, lingerie, makeup, purses, home decor, vitamins, or anything else via MLM. I can go to the store and buy it for half the price there, so why would I buy the same stuff for twice as much?



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