Friday, April 23, 2010

Dear Car Who Cut Me Off

Dear Car Who Cut Me Off,

I'd like you to know I would've let you in had you used your blinker to let me know that you wanted in to my lane. Instead you swerved into my lane and I had to slam on my brakes in an attempt to prevent an accident.

So just for future reference, there is this little stick thing by the steering wheel. In my car, all you do is push it up or down. Since you pushed into the right lane, that means down. Then the blinker turns on and other drivers know you want in their lane.

I know its hard to pass the drivers test and learn all the rules. I don't know how it is now, but when I was in high school we had to get 80% on the test. I got exactly an 80% and that was probably a miracle. Then I crashed like 2 months later.

It didn't involve using the blinker. Now I know not to tailgate. There were a bunch of church boys walking along the sidewalk where I crashed. Maybe they distracted me. Men are distracting.

Did you know there was this little old short fat man that used to hit on me at my old work? He didn't speak English very well and I knew to cringe when I heard his voice calling out to me "YLEESLIE!" It made me want to scream from torture. It made it difficult to focus because I wanted to run far far away. Note to men: It you are like 30 years older than me, I really don't want to date you. Second note to men: If you are wider than you are tall, I really don't want to date you. Third note to men: If you are 2 feet shorter than me it's so not sexy.

I hope you use the little black signal thing next time so you don't crash in like 2 months.

Be Safe.

Your courteous driver friend,


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