Dear Christine,

Dear Christine,

I was just thinking about how nice it is to have you as a sister. One reason I wanted to learn to play the piano is because I have great memories of you playing while we would sing along. We've had some fun times.

And it's great that you live nearby. I love to come by and see you or the kids on the way home from work, or to take them to get snow cones. And it's nice to talk to you on my drive to or from work. And we can laugh about the funniest things.

I don't have many friends who are girls, but it's ok because my sisters are my best friends. I know I can call you and we can go to a movie, or I can drag you out on a walk, or to the store, or I can play my piano songs and you'll encourage me to keep on learning.

I know sometimes life gets hard and it sucks when kids do things like marker the couch or other things, but thanks for staying positive. Sure you go have a good cry, but then you wake up just fine the next day.

Love,

Les

PS. Someday when you have baby #6, feel free to name her after me. :D

Dear Morning

Dear Morning,

You are dark at 5am. And tiring. Leaving me questioning why in the world I signed up to be on call. Right, the money....I suppose there was a reason.

And I'm supposed to run with my mom in an hour. I tried to call and tell her to wait, but she didn't answer which means when I go back to bed she'll notice the call and call and wake me up. Or not notice at all and call and wake me up in an hour.

Oh well, it could be worse. Sleep is overrated right?

Les

Dear R,

Dear R,

Can I just tell you how grateful I am to you for fixing my air conditioner. I didn't even know they had those fuse things in them. And you probably wanted to roll over and laugh when I called it a spark plug. I am totally fine if you do.

And now I can sleep in an air conditioned room. I guess I'll start wearing pajamas again. Ok, so probably not, but I might use a blanket tonight. Pajamas are so overrated anyways.

Anyways, you probably don't know this and you'll probably never get around to reading this, but you are a great example to me. In fact, you make me want to be a better person.

You are so willing to help people. You are kind to people. You work hard, and even when you have the suckiest of days, you still stay calm. Like when the switch kept going out and we kept losing connections nonstop, I could tell you were having a rough day, and you know, I probably would've curled up in a corner and cried at some point, but you didn't. You just kept on going.

I am not so gutsy when it comes to telling people how great they are, so in case you didn't know, you're quality. Thanks for being so awesome.

Someday I hope I marry someone as great as you.

Les

Dear Pole

Dear Pole,

Do you remember me? Do you remember my old nissan? You probably still have paint on it where I hit you. And you probably recall, I hit my friend Rebecca's car about the same time I hit you. And after that I decided no more underground parking structure for me. It was a tad difficult to get in and out of there anyways.

The other day some friends and I were eating popsicles and they had jokes on the stick. Mine said, "Where do snowmen like to dance." The answer on the stick said at a snowball, but we came up with a better answer: The north pole.

And no, I do not have a pole in my bedroom, or the kitchen. Nor do I dance around the poles outside holding up the covered patio.

But yes, I could. It might be memorable for the neighbors, like when I had the pool in the backyard, or when I attempted to use a turkey fryer thing that took like 5 gallons of oil.

Anyways pole, you really should stay out of my way.

Les

Dear Book,

Dear Book,

You had something profound in you that I liked. I am sharing it:

"I knew an old Illianer woman, once," she said slowly. "When she was young, her mother arranged a marriage for her with a man she had never even met. They do that down in Illian, sometimes. She said she spent the first five years raging against him, and the next five scheming to make his life miserable without his knowing who was to blame. It was only years later, she said, when he died, that she realized he really had been the love of her life."

"I don't see what that has to do with this."

Her look said he obviously was not trying to understand and her voice became overly patient. "Just because fate has chosen something for you instead of you choosing it for yourself doesn't mean it has to be bad. Even if it's something you are sure you would never have chosen in a hundred years. 'Better ten days of love than years of regretting," she quoted.

Now book, I'm not saying that an arraged marriage is what I'm talking about here, it isn't. I just think sometimes in life we have the attitude that we didn't choose for ourselves and it is bad. It isn't. It's good to look around and see what amazing things God has blessed me with.

And now I'm sure some of you eyeballing my blog are wondering if the book is a smut novel. No it is not. You can buy it here on amazon. But you really should start with book 1.

Book, I really am glad you aren't a smut novel. I really don't care for them and I don't think they are healthy for the mind or body. And now that I'm partway through the series, I'd be mad if I had to give up and throw all of your series buddies in the trash along with you. And yes, I would do that.

There are plenty of books in the landfill compliments of me. Although, maybe I should get a firepit and burn them. They would be nice fuel and I do want a firepit.

And book, please do not keep me up late tonight. I am trying to go to bed earlier this week. Well, at least I was until I wrote your quote down and now it's getting late and I'm still awake.

Book, the least you could do is find me a nice attractive man to go with you.

Goodnight book,

Les

Dear Brownies

Dear Brownies,

I have to say, you made quite the lunch. Who knew that you could be so tasty and filling as a lunch? Apparently, I did since I ate you for my lunch.

Please take all those fat calories and put them in my chest and not my butt or my waist. I did use low-fat ingredients when I made you, so perhaps there are no fat calories and it's all in my imagination.

And while you're at it, can you please make my sister Christine's baby healthy and strong. I know she liked eating you after dinner. And since she has that diabetes test on Wednesday (that someone I know didn't take), she really needs the extra sugar overload and the healthy thing.

From what I hear that stuff they make you drink for the test is yucky. Perhaps I could crush you up and dump in her bottle of the sugar stuff for her test. All it can do is help right? And I'm sure Christine would be so appreciative of my support and flavoring of her diabetes test mix.

And if all else fails, at least it will give her drink special floaties.

Love,

Les

Dear Becca

Dear Becca,

Thanks for making my nails look all pretty. You made my night. I've been wanting pretty nails for a while and now I have them.

I know I'm clumsy and I might ruin them in a few days, but it's nice to have pretty fingers even if it's only a day or two. Maybe now a dreamy guy will come along and see the hot girl with pretty nails (yes, thats me) and totally ask me out and it will be your doing because it's all due to the nails.

Let's hope it's two days the nails stay intact. I promise not to garden, use a saw, use a shovel, or a hammer, or a nail gun, or an ax until at least Tuesday. That way maybe they will be pretty till then. And I probably won't use an ax at all. I don't own one and if I miss it will hurt a lot.

Anyways, it was fun to see you. I miss you when you aren't around. And I'm glad you are my sister.

Love,

Les