Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Dear Single Guy,

Dear Single Guy,

A while back you decided to provide me with some unasked advice on how I should attract a man. Apparently since I lack one, you felt the need to offer up what I am doing wrong.

Your first suggestion: Show cleavage

This makes absolute sense to me. I'll just wrongly adjust my garmets and wear a victoria secret miraculous bra, and show some bust. Back in the day, my friend had a word for dressing like that. I think the term was hoochie girl.

I'm sure that within hours of doing so, I'll pick up all sorts of men. Men who are interested in my body, men who see me as an object, men who have no respect for me, and how about men who don't want to date me, they just want some sort of physical intimacy without a commitment? I think the bible has a term for these kind of guys: whoremonger.

Your second suggestion: Wear a bikini

Brilliant suggestion. Just what a clumsy girl needs to attract a nice lifeguard fellow. And really, I am sure I could come to appreciate how a man can disrespect me with his eyes as he looks at most of my unclothed body and doesn't look me in the eye when he talks. Nothing like knowing you are appreciated like being leered over like a hunk of meat. I'm sure the love story in the paper announcing the relationship can say something like "Hoochie Girl Meets Whormonger". What a great title!

I guess I could become someone I'm not, and dress to attract the kind of guy I don't want, but the fact is, I am a quality girl. I don't need to dress inappropriately in order to attract a guy. Rest assured, in the future, should you see me and feel attracted to me without my cleavage and bikini, I'll make it a point of flirting and walking away. Can't touch this!

And someday, I hope my future daughters know how much value they have. They don't need to be immodest in order to get a date. They don't need to settle for a guy who is only focussed on their physical features. They can find someone who loves them for who they are, without dressing in an inappropriate way.

Not Your Hoochie Girl,


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