Sunday, October 31, 2010

Dear J

Dear J,

I woke up this morning and thought of you. I felt like I needed to write you this letter while you were on my mind. I just wanted you to know that I'm going to miss not having you in my ward. You are such a great woman.

I know that life hasn't always been easy for you, and in a way, you remind me of me and where I was at a few years ago.

After placing my son for adoption, it was difficult for me to go to church. I didn't want to be reminded of eternal families especially when my son had just been sealed to someone else. It hurt. I didn't want to hope or to dream, and I didn't know if I'd ever have that in my life. At times, I've felt such a lonliness that the ache in my heart seemed as bad as physical pain.

I wish I could tell you at what point it got easier, I don't know. I kept going because I knew I needed to. I knew that the only way I could get through it would be with the help of our Savior. And the only way I could have his help is to accept it and listen to the promptings that came.

Please know that things will get easier. I don't know when, I don't know how, but I do know that you are a special daughter of God and he has great things in store for you. In conference about a year ago, Elder Wirthlin gave a talk about the difficulties in life and it touched me.

The third thing we can do is understand the principle of compensation. The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.

One of the blessings of the gospel is the knowledge that when the curtain of death signals the end of our mortal lives, life will continue on the other side of the veil. There we will be given new opportunities. Not even death can take from us the eternal blessings promised by a loving Heavenly Father. Because Heavenly Father is merciful, a principle of compensation prevails.

This talk gave me hope, it gave me much to think about, and it made me realize how blessed I am. The Lord has compensated me for my losses in so many ways. All I need to do is look around and I can see the windows of heaven that were opened to pour blessings on me. I know it will be the same for you. Don't give up. Things will continue to get better.

When you are ready to go back to the temple, let me know. I will go with you. When you want to go and don't have anyone to go with you, let me know, I'll go with you then too. I've discovered a power and a spirit in the temple that I never knew existed. I am so grateful that I have a temple nearby to attend.

You are a daughter of God. You are a great woman. Don't ever doubt that. Don't settle for less than you are worth. I know that you deserve the best in everything. If you don't feel that way, pray and ask the Lord to help you feel that way and he will.

I so love you. I am sad that we won't sit together at church any more, but you are lucky that you have so many great women in your ward to sit by. I will miss them. I hope you enjoy the ladies who are there. They are wonderful.



Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Dear Fresh Salsa

Dear Fresh Salsa,

Do you realize what you did to me? Not only did I reek of garlic and onion for hours, but you apparently didn't think that was enough. You decided to beat me up on the inside too. Thank you for keeping me awake from about 2am to 5am last night.

Thanks to you, I think I've cured myself of any and all desire to eat you. In fact, at the moment, the thought of eating you is right up there with celery and chicken soup. Ugh...just the smell of them makes me gag. Oh, and just the thought of you at the moment also makes me want to gag. I want any and all signs of you out of my house and my mind. You tormented me enough in the night.

And people probably about dropped dead if they got near me from the onion smell. You probably chased away all my friends and then you left me curled up in a ball in the middle of the night wishing I hadn't ever eaten you. On the bright side of things, I have cured myself of any and all desire to eat you, so I should be able to dump on a gallon of perfume and at some point my friends will return and I won't smell like an onion.

I hope you enjoy your journey to the landfill. You aren't coming back.


Thursday, October 21, 2010

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

Do you keep my deep dark secrets that I don't write in you? Do you feel sad that you were given to me last year and you still have all blank pages? Do you mourn because of your lack of attention?

Well, mourn no more. I will give you away to someone who will give you a new home. Rachel, Cassie, Christine, anyone? Want a nice big diary to write in?

I suppose I should use you, but I don't. And since I don't do clutter and junk, out you go!

Bye Bye,


Sunday, October 10, 2010

Dear Brig, Ethan, And Hailey

Dear Brig, Ethan, And Hailey,

Thank you for being my 3 special pals for part of last week and this week. I know it was stressful and hard with your dad in the hospital, and your mom there with him, but for me, it was great to have you for even just a little while.

I loved that you wanted me to play with you. I loved being needed, and for just a little moment I felt what it must be like to be a mom. Brig, I felt so loved when you came and sat on my lap and just wanted me to hold you. And when we drove down the road singing primary songs it reminded me of my childhood and how my mom taught me about Jesus Christ.

Then when we drove down with the windows open trying out all sorts of indian chants, and yells, I just have to laugh at the memory of random people looking at our car trying to figure out why we were screaming and being so loud.

It also made me have much admiration for mothers, especially your own. She is such a hard worker. And a good mom to each of you. All of my sisters are wonderful with their kids, and also each others children. You are so incredibly blessed to have so many people who love you.

I am glad you got to do a few fun things with me while you were here. Someday you'll be grown and I hope you look back on the time we spent together with fondness.



Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Dear Fresh Salsa

Dear Fresh Salsa,

You are turning me into an addict. I think I could eat you for breakfast. Wait, I've done that. I think I could eat you for lunch. Yup, done that too. And I just ate you for dinner. In fact, you are so tasty, I could eat you for all 3 meals...check done that too.

Your only flaw: You leave me reaking of garlic and onion. Everyone who gets within 10 feet of me probably can smell it on me. It's probably a really really good man magnet. What guy wouldn't want a girl who smells like onion and garlic from a mile away. Garlic is sexy. It brings in the vampires, uh I'm confused, it drives them away. Which is good because I don't really want a Twilight wanna be vampire man anyways. And the man daisy dukes they wear in the movies, do they not realize they are called daisy dukes for a reason? They aren't manly on a man.

Anyways, fresh salsa, I love making you, smelling you, eating you. You are some tasty stuff. And healthy too. No preservatives. Made with garlic, onion, tomato, peppers, fresh squeezed lemon juice and salt and pepper. MMMmmm, good stuff. Too bad I finished you off for dinner a few minutes ago. Now I won't get you for breakfast and lunch tomorrow.

Confessed Salsa Addict,