Dear Santa Les,
This year I've decided to be super selfish and ask for many things. I know you exists Santa Les, so here's what I want:
1. A certain guy to stop hitting on me
2. Tomatoes. I miss being able to pick fresh ones and the attempt to plant one in a planter and bring it in the house for winter failed miserably.
3. Can I please get a date with a guy with the following qualities: A short term memory, not covered entirely in tattoos, a real job that makes more than $7 an hour, is not secretly gay, has motivation, wants kids (yes plural, more than one), works hard, doesn't have a porn addiction, doesn't tell me my chest is too small, actually goes to church and has a temple recommend, and who is intelligent enough to hold a decent conversations with me. I know thats asking a lot considering the blind dates I've been set up on in the past, but all men don't belong on the Island of Unwanted Toys. Surely there are some regular decent ones.
4. Can the date turn into a love slave? I'd really like my driveway shoveled by someone else when it snows and I'm about to break down and buy a snowblower. It might save me $500.
5. Mmmm, italian salad and maybe some stromboli. Can you tell it's dinnertime? I think Santa Les might have to make some.
6. Permission to throw away ugly little Christmas decorations people give me. I know I'm not decorative, but why should I hang up something horrendous when I can trash it and be perfectly content.
7. A fireplace in my bedroom. I've come to realize that I love my fireplace. Can I move my bedroom into the family room and put my bed next to the fireplace?
8. Is it too much to ask for a motorcycle? They are really shiny and pretty.
9. Do they make break-proof food processors? I've ruined about of those things in the past year. I don't want to buy a new one if I'm just going to break it again.
10. And finally, can I please please please please please please please put a hot tub in my kitchen? I don't really use the table and it would be way more fun to have hot tub parties indoors where it's warm.
Love your really really well behaved present coveter,