Dear Easter Egg,
You are the reason one should never ever have an indoor egg hunt through one's house. At least you weren't a real egg, only one filled with rock hard nasty candy.
I am glad the ants and bugs didn't find their way into you brilliant, yet months long, hiding place. I am glad I pay the pest control to come on a regular basis so that this wasn't a possiblity. I am glad I didn't find any bugs despite your icky nature. Had I done so, this would be more of a freak out panic stricken letter. Instead, I am grateful that you chose to behave other than hiding when I wanted you to be found.
You know, I always thought it was a bad idea to have an indoor egg hunt, but it was dark and cold, so the bad idea won out. Note to self: Bad ideas are still bad ideas even when its dark and cold outside.
Thank you for not making an icky mess all over in your hiding place and luring bugs and other screaming-like things into your location. I much appreciate it.
You are the reason there will not be an indoor egg hunt throughout my house next year.