Dearest Spiders

Dearest Spiders,

Today while in the garage I noticed a giant one of you. A wolf spider kind. You were huge. I could see your beady little eyes and you probably had fangs the size of needles. I wanted to scream and freak out, but I didn't. I calmly got a large object and killed you with it. I didn't even scream while I did it, which I did do the time before.

I really would appreciate it if you would stay out of my house and garage. This is also to warn you that the pest control man is going to come and spray poison all over the inside and outside of my house and should you choose to remain, you will die. And I won't be sad.

Please go away,

Les