Monday, May 31, 2010

Dear Dyson

Dear Dyson,

I am beginning to wonder if you are Leslie Proof. You've made it about a year and so far, you still work. I think you are the longest working vacuum that I've possessed.

I will not name the brands that I've broken, but there are many, not a few.

Please continue to work.


Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Dear New Bike

Dear New Bike,

I like you. Can you please give me buns of steel and sexy toned legs? And while you're at it, a little bit of superpower would be nice too.

And no, I will not be letting people feel my buns of steel. Its enough to know that I have them.



Monday, May 24, 2010

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

I know sometimes work and life gets frustrating, we all have those days. Maybe you even feel like a failure when things don't go as expected, but you aren't. Sometimes the things we think are trials are actually blessings in disguise. It just takes time to see them in that perspective.

I remember as a little kid seeing certain people who did well financially, and later seeing many of them let money and things ruin their life. There is a family in my ward, when I moved in they were married, but they suddenly came into a lot of money and the money destroyed their marriage and now they are divorced. Kinda sad that one seemingly insignificant thing like money would ruin a family, yet for them, it was the destroyer.

I remember most of my roommates in college who had mommy and daddy footing their bills and tuition. They failed half their classes and didn't care if they did their homework. One of them even pretended she was going to school, but she wasn't. She just took their money and did whatever she wanted with it instead. It has made me determined to make my children work their way through school. I want them to appreciate it, not take advantage of it.

You taught me to work hard and to appreciate things. If you hadn't done so, maybe I would've been like those roommates who probably never graduated from college and took advantage of my family.

You taught me to install my own sprinklers. I'm sure glad you did. It has saved me a lot of money over the years. Every time my neighbors break a sprinkler, they have to call a landscaping company and pay them a bunch of money to fix it. Seems like such a shame that they don't know how to do something basic like swap out a sprinkler head. They could save so much money by learning how.

You taught me to be frugal and to work hard. Thanks to that, I have tried to work hard at my job and do my best. It also means I save money and don't blow it on stupid things. Well, maybe some things you might think are dumb, but for me, the are good things. It's all a matter of perspective.

You've always grown such nice plants and food in the garden. How lucky we've been growing to always have so many fresh fruits and vegetables to eat. They are so expensive and not always very tasty coming from the grocery store. And it's made me appreciate being able to grow things in my yard.

I know sometimes success can seem very visible for some people who have nice houses and fancy cars, but that isn't really success. You're one of the lucky ones, you have real success.

You've got 8 kids, and 25 grandchildren. I think that is true success. I am envious of that kind of success. I'd trade my job and my house for that any day.

The other day my VT partner looked at me and said, "You and I are those ladies who will never get married and have kids, so for us, we just have to be content to be the super aunt." I told her, "I am not going to just be a super aunt, I'll be a super mom someday too." But it made me realize that people with kids are so blessed. There are many who will never experience that in this life, and you've gotten to several times. That's pretty blessed in my book.

I really believe the true measure of success isn't how much money you did or didn't make, or whether or not you could buy something super big, but it is how you lived your life, and the good things you accomplished. It's the people you've helped and those around you that you've diligently served.

In a few years, maybe you'll look back and realize how blessed you were, even if you don't feel that way now. For during this time of your life, you've got time you can spend with your family. Maybe you will be able to go to the temple more or have more time to do other things that you've not had the time to do.

You've got an orchard full of trees that have fed many people, and a garden that has started growing food that blesses the lives of so many people. You've got a nice big yard where the kids and grandkids can run and play. And cows to eat and fill the freezer full of meat.

It doesn't matter to me that you don't drive a fancy car, or that you taught us to work hard. In fact, I am glad you did so. Had you not, I might've been so focused on things like flashy clothes or items in my house that I'd not realize the truly important things in life.

My point is, I think you are highly successful and so incredibly blessed. I'm slightly jealous of what you have. Maybe it's not my lot in life to have what you have, or to experience what you do, but in my perspective, you are so loved by our Father in Heaven. He must have some incredible things planned for you in order for you to need the experiences you are going through.

Don't give up, or feel discouraged. Life doesn't have coincidences, it has purpose. We may not understand the whys or hows the moment things happen, but somewhere down the road, you will see how all the pieces fit together in the puzzle and you will rejoice in the things you've experience whether or not you thought they were a trial.

I love you and admire you. I hope that someday I can be even half as successful, kind, and giving as you are.



Friday, May 21, 2010

Dear Canyon Bicycles

Dear Canyon Bicycles,

Thank you ever so much for getting the devil pedals off my old bike and onto the new. I can only imagine the damage I would've done had I attempted to get them off all on my own. Best of all, you did it for free. Thank you!!!

And can I say, my mom and I love your store way better than the other store we shall not name. You have great customer service and you custom ordered new thorn resistant tires for her bike. We appreciate that. The other store told us there was nothing they could do. I'm glad they were wrong. We were getting tired of her tires going flat all the time.

And I should thank you for taking a large chunk of my money too. Lets admit it, the nicer you are, the more we probably spend. Now could you send a really hot man biker who is single with a real job my way? And while I am sending requests, can you please make sure he has 2 eyes, a short term memory, no strange tatoos, ears that are not pierced, and maybe he could own a wii? I know the wii is stretching it a bit, but since I was making the list, I thought I'd throw that in.

Also, I should thank you Canyon. I think you've blown my June book budget. New bike = no new books. If I buy any books in June, please dear family, beat me. But not with anything hard that will hurt or break me. Maybe a water noodle made of foam.

Your new loyal customer,


Thursday, May 20, 2010

Dear Pedals,

Why can't I get you off my old bike and onto the new? Do you realize all I've been through as far as pedals go?

First I had the ones my feet kept slipping off of, so I bought new clip on ones. Then I crashed time and time again on those ones. Then I finally broke one a little bit so it was easier to get my foot out, and that worked great for a while. I still crashed, but I crashed less. Then I completely broke the pedal in the middle of a ride and had to ride home with only one pedal working. A couple miles with one pedal isn't fun and I got a bad bruise on my leg where the pedal broke on it. Then I got new pedals and they were great!

Then I I you pretty new bike, and I tried to abandon you less pretty old bike, and I can't till I get my pedals off! Come off pedals.

Everyone cross your fingers that a cute single guy will be at the bike store that is my dream man when I take 2 bikes to the bike store because I want my $65 pedals. If they were $5 pedals I'd just buy new ones, but $65 is enough money that I want my pedals and I want them now!

I hope I don't crash the new bike as much as the old one. It was expensive and it looks pretty and nice.

Now get off my old bike and onto the new pedals.


Monday, May 10, 2010

Dear Fresh Salsa,

Dear Fresh Salsa,

Why do you taste so good? The yummy flavor you ooze makes me want to eat you for breakfast lunch and dinner. And you know the one thing that would make you better? If you were made out of fresh garden tomatoes instead of those store bought ones.

Currently there are several nice garden tomato plants sitting in my garage, waiting for the weather to finally warm up enough that they won't die. They will make me super tasty salsa, tomato sandwiches, and enhance my salad or omlet.

It's kinda sad that canning is turning into a lost art because there are so many things that taste better when you grow them and don't go through the strange ripening and storage procedures the stores use. I actually ate some store bought applesauce the other day and practically threw up. I did gag.

There's no comparison between flavorful good homemade applesauce and the stuff you buy at the store.

And my sister Jenny's dill pickles are to die for. I think I would die happy with a jar full of her pickles in my tummy. This year I will be visiting so I can learn the art of making pickles. I might need to make like 100 jars because they are so good I will need to install an electric fence around them in my house to keep all my family members from eating them all when I'm not home.

Anyways, fresh salsa, you are so tasty and good. You are reason enough to grow a salsa garden in the yard. And a little lemon tree to get lemons from for the salsa.

Your devoted eater,


Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Dear Cheesecake

Dear Cheesecake,

Do you have any idea what you do to me? I shiver just thinking of loading you into my mouth. I love the way you taste. I love your rich goodness.

I don't know why I didn't discover you until I was like 18 years old. I seemed to have missed out on 18 years of amazing yumminess.

I dream of swimming in cheesecake. Living in a cheesecake house with blankets of cheesecake covering me. How can I ever live out this dream? No I will not be climbing in a giant mixer of cheesecake. My brother in law's death by giant mixer story has cured me of all desire to climb into a giant factory mixer.

Once on my mission a lady made us all instant cheesecakes. One per missionary. We decided to see if we could eat the entire cheesecake in one sitting. In fact, we decided to have a contest to see who could eat their cheesecake the fastest.

I've never eaten another instant cheesecake in my life. I am so glad they taste different then a genuine cheesecake.

Dreaming of you tonight.


Saturday, May 1, 2010

Dear Lawn

Dear Lawn,

You have been through much and yet I've managed to keep you alive by some miracle. And this year I fertilized you early so you would grown nice and green and reward me by looking pretty. Do you know what you did to return the favor? I looked at you this morning and discovered that you are covered in dandelions.

You traitor! How could you go and do this to me? And all in a matter of like 3 days. I tried to make sure you looked good last weekend and now you repay me by filling with weeds. Shame on you. I mow you, I call you names when I weedeat you, I even planted the sod that made you grow.

I feel betrayed by you. It's like losing a date to an ex-roommate who would hone in on every guy that was remotely interested in me. Trust me, it doesn't really bode well for the friendship when your friend/roomie thinks its ok to hit on any guy who wants to date you. It makes for annoying and irritable relationships.

Or maybe it's like me giving the vegan lady at church goldfish crackers and her realizing that I just ruined her vegan diet. She ate them, so it wasn't really my fault. But I am sure glad i'm not vegan. I love me some good steaks, and roasts, and bacon, and sausage, and smokies, and kabobs, and chicken, and while we're on meat, an nicely build eye candy man is fun to check out on occasion if he's running down the road or something like that.

Anyways, back to you lawn. Get a life! Grow and beat out those dandelions. I fertilized you for a reason.

Your owner,